i finished my first lsat practice test today, timed and everything. i got a high 157. to put this in perspective, the median lsat to get into fsu is 159, and sohei’s official score was 167. (though when he started out, his score was about the same as mine, which might be a good sign.) i think, with some work, i can get my score into the 160s. it might not matter, though, because fsu’s median gpa is 3.44 and mine is 3.06. my upper-division gpa is 3.5, but the overall is sadly low. sohei says i may still have a chance if my lsat score kicks ass, to make up for my shit gpa, but i don’t know… and now i don’t know what i want to do… what i really want to do is what i’ve always wanted to do: get into a field where i can work for myself, but offer a service that really helps the community. (the first person to suggest prostitution gets smacked like the fool that they are.) so i was thinking that law might be ideal, because i can go into business for myself, and still help people. i’ve wanted to do something like own my own bookstore since forever ago, but i know that’s unlikely to succeed. sohei suggested freelance writing, which sounds good, but is also sporadic in terms of pay. i don’t really care so much about making money, but i don’t want us to end up on the street, either.

so i guess i’m going to go ahead and try really hard to get a phenomenal lsat score and apply to fsu’s law school next spring, for fall admission. in the meantime, i’m going to try to get some kind of job and just study for the test. i can always go back to library school later, if i need to. i’m just not sure anymore that it’s what i want. all librarians seem to do is sit on their asses and play on the internet. while that sounds like it would be my ideal job, in reality, i’d like to actually have things to do at work. and though i was originally drawn to the idea of getting to work with quirky people, i have since learned (and not just at my current job) that “quirky” often means “serious mental problems” and “completely inadequate social skills.” my sister and i have both worked at libraries, and i’m beginning to see some patterns emerging regarding library work. and i do not like them, sam i am.

who knows, though. maybe i won’t be happy at any job. maybe i’m not fit to work or be alive. but since i’m not going to off myself, i might as well keep looking for something i might like. right now, law seems to be it.