i’m having a really frickin’ awful day. it started the way most of my awful days start, with sohei bitching at me because i didn’t wash his shirts. he insists he told me to do it before, but if he did, it must have been some morning last week when i was half asleep. it sure as hell wasn’t when i was washing clothes this weekend. i did two loads of little bear’s clothes, and one load with a shirt for each of us to wear to the superbowl party, a sweater for sohei, and a bunch of his socks for work this week. at no point did he mention his shirts. this happens a couple times a month and i’m getting sick of it. he’s about to be responsible for his own shirts.

and i noticed a few days ago that one of little bear’s eyes has some extra skin between the nose and eye, which is, as it turns out, an epicanthal fold. i’d been trying to research it online, but i couldn’t think what to call it, so i wasn’t finding anything. then, this morning, i had one of my just-upon-waking epiphanies, and remembered that it’s a symptom of fetal alcohol syndrome. so i looked up fas and found the term, then googled it. i was pretty sure that the cause wasn’t fas, because after my christmas eve drink fest (which was day one of week five, or three weeks post-conception), i didn’t drink. and everyone, doctors included, insisted that was too early to have done any damage. the other main cause is down syndrome, which he also doesn’t have. and it probably isn’t a genetic disorder. so it’s either a) normal in some babies his age, and he’ll outgrow it when the bridge of his nose grows, b) secondary to abnormal skull growth (though i’ve asked his doctor about that ridge on the side of his head at every appointment, and he hasn’t been concerned), or c) maybe he does have very minor fas, and hopefully that’s the only symptom, aside from his small head size. his low head circumference measurements do make the fas seem slightly more likely, but i really think that would be kind of weird. the measurements could also mean there’s something up with his skull, but the doctor keeps insisting there’s nothing wrong with it. hopefully, it’s reason a, but i’ll be asking the doctor about it at our next appointment if there’s no change. so i’m kind of worried about that.

also, i left neko at no-chan’s house yesterday. i’ve been struggling with this decision for a while, but finally decided that she’d be happier over there. i just don’t have enough time for her, between the baby and the dog, and everything. also, she’s hissed at little bear and started peeing on his stuff. she pretty much destroyed his stroller. there’s no way i could give her to a shelter or anything, but no-chan spoils her cats, and can give her so much more attention and affection than i can right now. and i can visit her whenever i want. we’ll see if it works out, because she already has two cats, and if they get too upset, neko might be coming back. but, even though she’s always hiding now and i almost never see her, i feel like something’s missing. i miss my cat.

as far as minor annoyances go, little bear had a major blowout diaper this morning, and made such a mess i had to give him a bath. of course, it got all over his onesie and changing table, too. and after i got him mostly cleaned up with wipes, i had to leave him in his crib to go run the bath, and i came back to find pee all over his mattress, crib slats, and the floor. that kid can pee… also, i’m sick to my stomach today and just generally feel like shit. i was supposed to go to the store today, but there’s no way i’m leaving the house.