carvedangel.net

i have been writing lately, believe it or not, but it almost never actually makes it to my blog. i don’t know why, then, that some of it does. it should either work or not. whatever. i haven’t found a way to blog from work without it being a pain in the ass, so i’ll probably just write there and email it to myself, and post it when i get home. or something.

work has been really good. the people there are so unbelievably nice. i’m kind of making friends, and it’s neat. and, except for calling people (which is fast becoming a large part of my job), i like the work. i have trouble calling friends and family members. calling strangers that might be busy or pissy can be downright scary. but i keep doing it, because i think i’ll get used to it. and, if i didn’t do it, i’d have to quit my job. but my boss sent me an instant message saying i was doing a good job on the phone, so i’ll just go with that.

i talked to my sister for a while today. which is nice, coz we just don’t have time anymore. but she mentioned that when our grandma called the other day, she was kind of upset. i don’t remember whether i talked about it on here, but right after i moved here, i accidentally told her about dad’s new family. and i guess she didn’t know. and maybe i wasn’t supposed to tell. i don’t know. but she acted like it didn’t bother her, so i assumed she was fine. she called while i was at work the other day, and i talked for a couple minutes but told her i was at work, and she said she’d call later. and didn’t. so, even though dad should have told her to begin with, i’m feeling guilty because i’m the one that said something and now she’s upset. maybe dad was right and we shouldn’t have said anything. i don’t know. but i was supposed to tell dad i told her so he could talk to her about it, and i’ve been avoiding it. i don’t really feel like getting into a fight about it. but i feel like a selfish asshole because apparently this has really been bothering her and she doesn’t want to talk to him until he knows she knows. i don’t know how i end up stuck in the middle of everything all the time. i just feel really bad for her. so i tried to call dad but he wasn’t available so i left a message. he’s out of town on business, so i felt pretty shitty about just leaving a message like that on his cell. but i’m sick of this weighing on my conscience, and had no idea until today how upset my grandma is.

i was going to talk about how great work is going, but now i just feel like shit.