carvedangel.net

despite sohei’s protests, i’ve applied for insurance which will cost us $140/month. i’m sorry, but i’m not going without insurance. it’s just catastrophic coverage, but i know if i let my insurance lapse, my appendix would burst just after midnight on september 1st. in the meantime, i’m looking for a job that offers benefits, and i’ll cancel my insurance then. but we all know how good i am at getting jobs, so i think the temporary plan was a good idea. so does sohei’s dad, but since when does sohei actually listen to anyone? his dad would know, too, coz of course he didn’t have insurance when he wrecked his motorcycle and messed up his shoulder. to my knowledge, we have enough in the bank to cover a few years of insurance at this rate, and we don’t even have the financial aid deposited yet. my only concern at this point is that they’ll tack on more fees or just deny me entirely. at least this company has that thing i talked about yesterday, where they list, before you even start, reasons why they won’t cover you, and i check out fine on all of it, even the weight section. (i cost more than sohei thanks to my weight, but at least they’ll cover me.) so i guess i’ve done all i can on the insurance front, and if i don’t get accepted or something this time, there’s nothing more i can do. i’ll just ignore sohei for now.

i was going to write more, but i’m starving, so i’d better go eat.

life is really sucking ass right now. i got a letter from the supreme court that they hadn’t received my application in time, which i find odd, since i went to a lot of trouble to get it to them early. i haven’t heard about the other job i applied for, but i can no longer afford to wait, because i was informed today that i’m too fat to get health insurance. which means i need to find a job with benefits, and fast. (my insurance runs out on september 1st, and i won’t be able to get a job that fast, but i have to start looking at clerical jobs rather than library or part time.)

i’d like to take a moment to point out how fucking retarded it is that i can’t get health insurance at 27, despite being in pretty much perfect health. (while ibs is a pain, it doesn’t tend to cost insurance companies much after the diagnosis is made.) i had no trouble getting insurance when i smoked, ironically. i guess it’s okay to smoke, as long as you’re not too fat. and while i admit to having a weight problem, i’m not even that heavy, especially compared to a lot of other people in this country. i think someone young, without a bad health history, should be able to get insurance. it was for catastrophic coverage to begin with, which means it only covers things that are hospital-related. i don’t see how being fat is going to make me break more bones, get into more car wrecks, etc. and, like i told the useless cunt-drone i was on the phone with, it’s not like i’m going to have a fucking heart attack at 27. i asked her if there wasn’t anything available for me and she said no. so i said, “oh, i guess since i’m a fatty i can just declare bankruptcy or die, then. thanks.” and then hung up on her. i don’t give a shit if it wasn’t her fault. i spent two days tracking down all the information they wanted and filling out all the forms, only to be told they couldn’t accept my application. hey, here’s an idea: if you won’t cover someone for some reason, why not list those reasons to begin with, or have some kind of warning pop up if you answer incorrectly on your form? i sure as fuck wouldn’t have wasted my time if i knew you weren’t even going to consider me. assholes. so i contacted an agent, and he found me one plan that might work and isn’t a scam, but it’s $150/month, which we pretty much can’t afford right now. we can’t afford to go to the hospital, either, but i guess that’s what bankruptcy is for. i fucking hate this country. it’s one of the last nations without socialized medicine.

and thanks to once again having no control over my life, i’m sliding back into hypochondria. there’s a really icky mole on the back of my shoulder that has suddenly decided to discolor and become asymetrical. assuming i’m not being crazy, i guess i’ll just have to die if it’s cancerous.

no job, no school, no friends, no freedom. despite earning about $4000 at my last job, i can’t even afford $7 storage bins, apparently, let alone a microwave or washer/dryer. but i’m supposed to unpack and keep the house clean. what that actually means, for those of you who don’t speak irrational, is that i’m supposed to throw all of my stuff away and go to the laundromat by myself to wash the growing piles of laundry.

i guess i’m supposed to be happy for some reason, but i can’t for the life of me figure out why the fuck that would be.

so i write really bad poetry when i’ve been up all night drinking rum and cokes with bugs flying around and i can’t sleep.

owwwww… guts… imploding…

seriously, what the fuck?

anyway…

so i’m in tallahassee now and we’re getting settled in, though i have nowhere to put the stuff in all the boxes in my loft. when i get a job, i can get shelves and stuff, apparently. i’ve applied for two library assistant jobs, so we’re hoping like hell that it does. or something. in the meantime, i’m a law widow, and one year closer to 30. i haven’t got my free cold stone ice cream yet, but we’re totally going out to get it sometime before september 4. it was a birthday. oh, i have so many bratz. so many goth bratz. i can’t wait to get my damn shelves so i can actually display them.

we’ve been barbecueing? a lot since we got here since we have a back yard and all. brumby really likes it, but neko misses her screened-in porch. if only i could get a real job, i could probably afford to do things like screen in the porch and buy curtains and stuff. alas. i wanted to have some kind of legal job, but you have to have some kind of certification for everything. i’m more determined than ever to go to law school at fsu, so i’m going to have to study a lot for the lsat. even though it makes my dad angry.

well, i’m too sick to continue for now, but i’ll be back.

i’m alive and well (mostly) in tallahassee. i haven’t any time to actually write anything, but i thought i’d let ya’ll know i won’t have internet access at home til monday. so see you then, i guess.

no cable and no internet make gish go something something.

go crazy?

don’t mind if i do!

okay, guys, sohei is taking back the internet equipment now, leaving me without internet for the day. i won’t be able to update until sometime next week, i guess, or whenever we get our new internet set up. i didn’t know i was losing my internet so soon.

so i have an interview today with his company, and i’ll be doing back-breaking labor for the next two days.

i’ll be so, so glad when this is all over.

i may have found a job i want to try for, finally. it combines libraries and the florida supreme court.

and juchan has moved out and is now on her own. weird.

and i found a really, really old friend on myspace because i can’t sleep and haven’t anything else to do.

except leave weird birthday messages on jsff/sohei’s myspace page.

oh, and i totally forgot to mention that someone actually asked us to play live!! someone contacted us asking if we want to play their club or something, and we were like, “really flattered, but also terrified, so no.” actually, i was the one who was terrified, but we have a million things to do, so, still, no. but wow.

so fuck you, adult swim [bracket stealers], for not playing our bump song.

and panera is a chain restaurant, rachael ray!

today has not been a good day. i feel bloody awful, to begin with. then i learned that sohei’s office is already arranging interviews, and i haven’t been called. so i will probably not be getting the job. (which led me to, once again, begin searching frantically for a job. monster, career search, newspaper, fsu job site, and florida/tallahassee gov’t jobs. nothing.) and then, because i wasn’t feeling quite shitty enough, sohei called to inform me that the idiot buyers, who have been nothing but a pain in the ass from the start, somehow can’t get the financing that their lender assured us – in writing – that they had available. wonderful. so now, unless they can get financing somewhere else, we will not be closing at the end of the month, and we’re back to the drawing board.

and sohei will be home in an hour, and he’ll be complaining because i didn’t get anything done today. despite the fact that i’ll be fixing one of his favorite meals – that i personally hate – for dinner. and i don’t think i’ll be getting what i asked dad for, for my birthday, because i think they’re sold out. even though i asked him to order them soon, because i knew they were rare and wouldn’t last.

i’m wondering what else is going to go wrong today.

in a week, i’m going to be living in tallahassee… and i’m feeling really sick right now (unrelated) so i’m going to go lie down instead of pack.

i found a couple of things i want for my birthday. i desperately want to order them. but i’m going to have a new address in a week. but these things are really rare and at a great price. so do i go ahead and have them sent to the new addy and hope that someone will be there to accept the packages, or wait and hope they’re still available in a week? also, sohei does not like the things i want to order and will most likely kill me anyway.

so i think i’ll be calling daddy and asking him to order them for my birthday.

sometimes i wonder if i’m in the wrong life?

but then sometimes not.

sohei’s birthday is next tuesday. we’re moving not this saturday but next. i can’t believe it. the appraiser came by yesterday and said he lived in tally for about six months before the racial tension drove him out. and my old boss could only live there like a year or something before going back home to iowa. i’m a little afraid. not of crime or anything, but of an unhappy vibe. like i get in raleigh, nc. there’s something very odd to me about the south, and tallahassee is definitely more like “the south” than st. pete. can i live there for 3-4 years without freaking out? i don’t like all the hicks and their confederate flags, which are everywhere. tallahassee is weird, coz it’s like, students and politicians, hicks, and poor black people. too much disparity. sohei and i generally get along pretty well with most people, so i’m hoping it won’t be a problem. though i really don’t think we’re going to get along with people that put confederate flags on everything. maybe we’ll meet nice people while we’re campaigning for the governor. (i’m erring on the side of davis right now.)

i know, i don’t ever update and this is the best i can come up with?

oh, and i’m trying for sohei’s job, so wish me luck with that. i’d be like a distance contract employee, but i don’t know if they want that. we’ll see.

hopefully, i’ll be getting ready to go to law school this time next year… in the meantime, i’m doing sohei’s orientation assignment, so i can figure out if i like this stuff. maybe we can collaborate.

since i use verizon for my cell phone service, i get $100 off a new phone every two years. the two years were up in july, and i wasn’t sure which phone to choose. i wasn’t crazy about any of them, though i was considering a blackberry. (it’s still my second choice.) but a new phone was introduced yesterday, and i’m pretty sure it’s the one i’m going to get. it has kind of a stupid name, but it’s a really slick looking phone. if it works half as well as it looks, i’m totally buying it. apparently, the worst thing about it is that it doesn’t have speakerphone, but i don’t really like that feature anyway. none of my phones have had it, and i don’t care. i kind of have to wait til we move in two weeks to get it, though. i guess i don’t have to wait, but it’ll be easier since i have to sign up for a new plan with a new number. (different area code.) anyway, when it comes to electronics, it usually better not to get something out of the first batch. first gen is always buggy and stuff. it’s going to be my birthday present, but i don’t want to wait til the end of august. >_< i’ll try to get sohei to get me one as soon as we get there.