over lunch on saturday, sohei and i were discussing the “angry liberal” myth. of course, this is part of a long list of things where we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t. if we stand down in the interests of harmony, we’re wussy hippies. if we dare to get upset about anything and – gasp – vocalize it, we’re “angry liberals” trying to undermine the government and the country itself. traitors, if you will. for the purposes of the topic, we determined that there are two major kinds of anger going on in america right now: righteous anger and petulant (self-righteous) anger. we defined righteous anger, in this case, to mean being angry on the behalf of others. petulant anger was defined as anger on the behalf of oneself. righteous anger is getting pissed about the treatment of the poor in this country, or the ongoing rape of our environment. (sure, technically, i suppose being angry about the environment may fall under petulant anger, since it also affects us on a personal level. but most people don’t seem to get upset about it on a personal level; mostly for unselfish reasons.) petulant anger is getting mad because someone cuts you off in traffic or you can’t buy something that you feel you’re entitled to. examples in both cases are pretty broad, but you get the idea.
this isn’t black or white, of course. (most of the things i talk about aren’t. i just tend to speak in absolutes when i’m ranting.) a person can experience both types of anger, often in a short span of time. however, a lot of conservatives like to point at liberal righteous anger and either laugh at how much our lives must suck, or use us as an example of how not-angry they are.
first off, let me point out that i would far rather get pissed off at injustice toward someone else than a (possibly perceived) injustice toward myself. getting mad at an unfair act that has been inflicted on me seems like a pretty big waste of energy. i think the same people that feel a smug sense of satisfaction at our “suffering” are actually, on the whole, a lot more angry at life than we are, and for different reasons. because i don’t feel like i’m constantly under attack every time i hear a dissenting opinion, and i don’t often have this bizarre sense of entitlement that a lot of my fellow citizens seem to have engendered, i think that myself and people like me, are actually a lot happier than those that continually experience petulant anger. these people just take life too damn personally. though i would like to point out, in fairness, that i am guilty of episodes of petulant anger as well. most of the time, it occurs when i’m online, and someone’s charging for something that, i feel, should be free. i assume this is because it isn’t a personal interaction, and so it’s easier for me to forget the work that some faceless person had to do to provide me with the service to begin with. thankfully, i’ve come to recognize this as a knee-jerk reaction, and i find myself being more rational about it lately.
anyway, my point is that righteous anger hasn’t ruined my life. i think that i am far more satisfied with life than someone who gets angry over perceived injustice a million times a day, because someone else owns something nicer than they do. am i over-simplifying things? i wish. i know a lot of people, personally, who seem to constantly strive for more. i guess it’s the american dream. but they never seem happy with what they have. if you call them on it, they claim that they are. but minutes later, they’ll start talking again about wishing they had a bigger house or more money, etc. while my life isn’t perfect (whose is?) and i’m not happy all the time, i do feel a general sense of satisfaction about my life. hey, i’m just happy to be here. i spent a lot of years cursing the fact that i was born, but finally realized, what’s the point? if you must be unhappy and suffer, at least do it on someone else’s behalf. put that energy toward fixing problems bigger than your own.
which ties into my ignorance is bliss post from the other day. it seems like the majority of people believe that if they pretend nothing is wrong, all the world’s ills will just fix themselves. well, i got mine, so i can act like i’m happy (while seething inside that i can’t own the designer clothing and accessories i’m entitled to.) who cares if the polar bear is dying out? those “angry liberals?” they like getting pissed off about things that no one gives a shit about. they’re always unhappy. not like me. but look at history. where would women be today if the suffragettes just shrugged and figured someone else should worry about whether they got the vote. or if civil rights leaders felt that they’d be a lot happier if they could just go home to their families at night instead of residing in jail – or the morgue. oh, that’s right. you’re the sort of person who probably lacks real empathy towards others. you’re a white guy, so you don’t care about the rights of others whose skin doesn’t look like yours. (or, worse, you’re bitter about the rights they’ve managed to get for themselves.) or maybe you’re a woman that’s more concerned with getting to the mall than getting to the polls. who gives a shit who the leader of the free world is, as long as you can get your hands on a gucci handbag? whether you appreciate it or not, we did not get the rights and freedoms we have today by just sitting on our asses with fake smiles plastered on our faces, unconcerned with the plight of others.
righteous anger has fueled nearly every positive change this nation has ever seen. those with true righteous anger sacrifice their false happiness to help make the lives of others better. while we can’t all be as great as susan b. anthony or martin luther king, we can each do our parts to try to make the world better. petulant anger and selfishness get us nowhere. so just keep telling yourselves that you’re happy, america, and that everything’s just fine. even if you are honestly happy, at least try to think of others once in a while, and do the right thing for their sake.
while i’m satisfied with my life, i am not satisfied with the ways of the world. if this means getting angry or sad sometimes, so be it. we all get upset now and then, because that’s human nature. but we can also decide, for the most part, what we let ourselves get upset about. and what we choose to do with all of that otherwise negative energy. we can put it towards something positive, towards change. or we can just stew in it, becoming farther removed from our fellow man, sinking deeper into apathy and our own petulant anger.
no. no, i bloody well can’t. i’ve put so much time and effort into this stupid thing, and nothing i do with it is ever right. i’m there at every freaking meeting. i wait forever til it’s my turn. i ask everyone for input on whatever project i’m working on. i get vague, unhelpful advice, then am told that we’ll get back to it some other time. so i plug along as best i can. i send updates to the chairman for him to look over and advise me on, so i can keep working from there. i never got any feedback at all on one of the projects, which has been looming over my head for months now, and still isn’t finished. (it’s been sitting there, while i wait to hear what i’m supposed to do with it next. even though i’ve emailed it out twice and asked for help in person multiple times.) 
(i would much prefer philly or gainesville.) i’m just worried now that, if michigan didn’t accept him, pennsylvania might not, either. i guess, in some ways, it would be a relief to stay in florida. i could finish my degree without paying out-of-state tuition (and without travelling an insane distance to attend the inevitable mandatory class meetings). we’d still be pretty close to his family. and i’m terrified at the thought of trying to drive in ice and snow, when i can hardly manage on a normal day. the coward in me wants to stay in-state. but the part of me with wanderlust is pretty darn disappointed at the prospects of spending the rest of my life in the same freaking state. which is becoming increasingly more hot, more overpopulated, and more red with each passing year. oh well. i’ll just take things as they come. except that he’s talking about just giving up on the whole thing, which i’m totally against. i mean, i don’t care where we live, really, but we should at least have the adventure of both being at university again. i may have to force that a bit, if he decides to wuss out. >_< it seems like there was more to say, but i can’t think of it now. oh yeah!
in fact, from the looks of things, we were number one in downloads. holy shit. we’d better get back to work and put some new stuff out, i guess. damn.
oh, life is so, so hard.
so things were pretty quiet, anyway. and my boss was there, and told me about his new year’s eve, which sounded crazy enough to make me glad i stayed home. but it was good to be at work today. it’s nice having a job i don’t dread going back to. the only negatives regarding it are: 1) having to get up at 7, 2) the pay isn’t great, and 3) having to take my lip ring out then put it back in every day (ouch). 
